11/10/08

Phase 2: Trick or Treat

Initial Objective: Infiltrate nexus of Hawthorne and SE 37th Ave. via air to participate in Earth ritual known as "Halloween."
Ultimate Objective: Candy.
Preliminary Objective: Extract information from Citizen #702N8-F, suspected of withholding of information crucial to success of missions subsequent to Phase 1. Means of extraction: "Fire," disguised as Earth tradition known as a "seance."

Preliminary group photo shoots, doorbell practice, and seance conducted at The Yellow House.
Tranquil-park-setting-posing conducted at Westmoreland Park.


PRELIMINARY OBJECTIVE: SEANCE


Preparations for extraction of information from Citizen #702N8-F by Citizens Halloween.



Citizen Devil leads interrogation.



(2 photos) Citizen #702N8-F refuses to offer information related to suspected data collected from Phase 1 regarding behavior of Earth life-forms known as "squirrels." Earth heat and light energy known as "fire" extinguished with "water" while further considerations are made regarding fate of Citizen #702N8-F.



Destruction of Citizen #702N8-F deemed a necessity. Seance to commence under cover of darkness in hopes of exorcising withheld data.







Citizen #702N8-F destroyed. Data exorcised. Seance deemed a success.


TRICK OR TREAT PRACTICE


Citizens Halloween practice execution of Earth ritual known as "Trick or Treating" in preparation for mission. (Above) Citizens wait dutifully after the ringing of the "doorbell."



The door is opened.



Resident of Earth dwelling appears in preparation of exchange of candy, i.e., "treat." In absence of said candy exchange, Citizens would be required to perform a "trick" upon owner of Earth dwelling. Process is also known as "blackmail."



Citizens recite, "Trick or Treat!" or, alternately, "Gimme gimme gimme!"



Owner of Earth dwelling is expected to make comments upon Citizens pertaining to the "cuteness" or "scariness" of Citizens' appearance, despite absence of either traits.



Owner presents candy, quite commonly what is known as a "candy bar."



Citizens perform trick nonetheless, draping themselves across Owner's dwelling. In real mission scenario "toilet paper" will be on hand as an alternative substance with which to drape Earth dwellings.


GROUP PHOTO SHOOT: WESTMORELAND PARK

Citizens Halloween pose for group photo and test effectiveness of group's combined gravitational pull.



Citizen Skeleton Kid uses Earth term, "cheese," in attempt to ascertain consequences of a "smile."





(3 photos) Citizens Halloween pose on unidentified Earth object. Purpose of object and reason for posing there unknown.



Citizens "enjoy" the Earth "scenery."



Citizens Camouflage Kid and Panda run test to determine the effectiveness of acting "scary." All data print-outs, however, returned information relating to acting "goofy."


CITIZENS AND DROP SITES

(2 photos) Citizen Rabbit before skin-simulation reassignment.



Citizen Rabbit questions Citizen #702N8-F in initial attempt to gain information. Earth phrases, "Nice weather we're having" and "How was your weekend?," used in attempt to gain trust prior to official accusations. Attempt failed.



Final landing spot of Citizen Rabbit. Estimated duration of suspension: 6 Earth days.




(2 photos) Citizen Panda poses at The Yellow House. Citizen Panda exempted from Phase 2 drop due to unfathomable cuteness. Further objectives await.



Citizen Monkey




(2 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen Monkey. Estimated duration of suspension: 10 Earth hours.



Citizen Devil



Citizen Devil dancing at the Gates of Hell.




(2 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen Devil. Estimated duration of suspension: 7 Earth hours.




(2 photos) Citizen Devil after infiltration of Earth "shop" post-Halloween. Data regarding influence of "trinkets" over Earthlings gathered Tuesday — Sunday, 9 am — 7 pm.



Citizen Camouflage Kid



Citizen Camouflage Kid emerging from Hell after parachute heat-resistance tests.




(2 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen Camouflage Kid. Further information regarding duration of suspension documented below.



After 5.5 Earth hours, Citizen Camouflage Kid's head unit disengaged from body in rogue attempt by head unit to assimilate into Earth culture. All contact with head unit has been lost. Head-unit's attempt to gain independence and acceptance among Earthlings is believed to have failed. Rescue mission successful in retrieval of body of Citizen Camouflage Kid 24 Earth hours after Citizen's landing. Further objectives for Citizen Camouflage Kid await.



Citizen Wrestler




(2 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen Wrestler. Estimated duration of suspension: 2 Earth hours.



Citizen Superhero, aka, "The Target"





Final landing spot of "The Target." Estimated duration of suspension: 6 Earth hours.



Citizen Skeleton Kid participates in Earth tradition known as "High School Yearbook Photos." First attempt.



Second attempt. Citizen Skeleton Kid exempted from Phase 2 drop due to strong "quarterbacking" capabilities and popularity amongst Earth "cheerleaders." Further objectives await.



Citizens Skeleton Kid and Devil riding elevator from Hell back to Earth's surface.



(Left to right) Citizens "The Target," Rabbit, and Clown at nexus of Hawthorne and SE 37th Ave.



Citizen Clown



Citizen Clown and Citizen Rabbit exchanging "candy bar" analysis data streams after trick or treat practice.






(3 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen Clown. Estimated duration of suspension: 5 Earth hours.




Citizen Stripes



Citizens Stripes and Rabbit calibrate stomach simulation units at Westmoreland Park in preparation for candy consumption.





(4 photos) Final landing spot of Citizens Stripes and Bee. Estimated duration of suspension for Citizen Stripes: 28 Earth hours. See below for information regarding duration of suspension for Citizen Bee.



Citizen Bee



(2 photos) Estimated duration of suspension for Citizen Bee: 13.1 Earth days. After an estimated 6 Earth days, Citizen Bee relayed distress signal and was discovered in body position similar to that documented above. Rescue mission attempt postponed due to Citizen Bee's excellent collection of data related to shapes of Earth clouds. Citizen Bee rescued on 13th Earth day, found on "sidewalk" near "gutter" stealthily disguised as ordinary Earth garbage, or "litter." Further objectives await.




Phase 2 deemed a success. Most Citizens active during "Halloween" ritual. Candy consumed in exorbitant amounts resulting in Earth condition known as, "sugar crash," after which Citizens Halloween slept for several Earth days before data could be sent.

7 comments:

Josh Burker said...

Me wants Citizen Clown!

Congratulations on successful mission(s). Glad to see you weren't arrested for freakin' out the population.

The costumes were amazing! Mr. Bungle would be proud!

I.J. Jenkins said...

woah man. freaking sweet.

Anonymous said...

Fucking amazing work! Good to see some originality...

Athena said...

i wish you HAD been arrested. just think of what that would've added to your story! ha.

you are so not afraid to wave your freak flag. A++

Anonymous said...

Amazing creativity and work, the duct tape babies kick ass.

jess said...

those are some of the best group photos I've seen in a long time. An impressive number of participants too! Well done.

dani said...

Your duct tape babies seriously need to consider some drops on the Alberta hood because you'd get some awesome crazies applauding their invasion. Stop making the babies so sexy, by the way.