10/15/08

Phase 1: Scouting Mission

Objective: Infiltrate SE sector via air.
Primary target: Hawthorne Blvd. between SE 34th Ave. and SE 38th Ave.
Preliminary landing and air density tests and group photo shoots conducted at Laurelhurst and Cathedral Parks, and a house.
Final drop conducted September, 2008, Hawthorne Blvd., between aforementioned blocks.
If taken hostage after drop, remain docile; report observations within three days of capture.



Last group photo shoot. Location: a house.




Group photo shoot and wind direction tests. Location: Cathedral Park.




Citizen #380A6-G practices pose for final drop.





(2 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen #380A6-G: SE 36th Ave. and Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 5-15 Earth minutes.



Citizen #562K5-L. Location: Laurelhurst Park.




Final landing spot of Citizen #562K5-L: SE 36th Ave. and Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 12 Earth hours. See below for further information regarding location of Citizen #562K5-L.




Citizen #629H9-D. Location: Cathedral Park. Note: Unidentified transportation vessel in background. Believed to be Earth-Pirates.




Final landing spot of Citizen Citizen #629H9-D: SE 37th Ave. and Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: After 12 Earth hours Citizen #562K5-L (see above) relocated to join Citizen #629H9-D by unidentified Earthling, or group of Earthlings. Earth substance known as "alcohol" may have been involved in reasoning behind relocation of Citizen #562K5-L by said Earthlings. 2 Earth days commenced before both Citizens went missing.





(2 photos) Preliminary landing trial near Cathedral Park: Success.




Citizen #739F7-U. Location: Cathedral Park.







(4 photos) Citizen #739F7-U conducts additional preliminary landing trials: Success.




Final landing spot of Citizen #739F7-U: 3700 block of SE Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: One Earth hour.





Successful preliminary landing trial at Laurelhurst Park. Note: Green water.




Citizen #702N8-F conducting water purity tests at Laurelhurst Park. Analysis: Disgusting, yet beautiful.









(6 photos) Citizen #702N8-F infiltrates various locations to demonstrate pose. Pose deemed above standard. Citizen #702N8-F restricted from Scouting Mission. Further objectives await.




Citizen #203J9-T. Location: Cathedral Park.




Citizen #203J9-T receives additional arm and is deemed suitable for participation in Scouting Mission.




Final landing spot of Citizen #203J9-T: 3700 block of SE Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 15 Earth minutes.




Citizen #469K5-I. Note: No arms.




Citizen #469K5-I post arm installations.






(3 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen #469K5-I: SE 36th Ave. and Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 3 Earth hours.




Citizen #264B4-H




Final landing spot of Citizen #264B4-H: 3500 block of SE Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 4 Earth hours.





(2 photos) Citizen #702N8-F and Citizen #892D6-P pose at unidentified object at Laurelhurst Park.




Citizen #892D6-P. Background: St. Johns Bridge.





(2 photos) Citizen #892D6-P supervises preliminary landing trials at Laurelhurst Park.




Face and arm composition of Citizen #892D6-P deemed unsuitable for long-term sustainability, given arms and head more appropriate for mission.





(2 Photos) Final landing spot of Citizen #892D6-P: SE 36th Ave. and Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 20 Earth hours. Mission deemed partial failure: Citizen's head unit became nearly disengaged from body. Rescue mission failed. Conclusion: Citizen #892D6-P's head unit disengaged from body, i.e., "popped off." Malfunction noted for subsequent missions.







(4 photos) Citizen #529B7-D practices running.




Final landing spot of Citizen #529B7-D: 3700 block of Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 3 Earth hours.




Citizen #386J7-K





(2 photos) Final landing spot of Citizen #386J7-K: SE 37th Ave. and Hawthorne. Estimated time of continuous suspension: 18 Earth days. Current status as of date of blogpost: Citizen #386J7-K remains dutifully at initial landing site. Data gathered and compiled at all hours of Earth day.



Phase 1 deemed a success. Phase 2 begins . . .

7 comments:

Josh Burker said...

Nicely disturbing.

I'm curious how you constructed the duct tape babies: did you create a model or wrap dolls with duct tape?

This ought to put the neighborhood on edge.

Duct Tape Babies said...

Classified information. User "josh burker" added to list of Earth Curiosities. Further action pending.

Classify This! said...

Why Portland? There's nothing interesting there... wait, now there is.
-A big hey there from Breah

Liopia said...

I need to get out more so I can do some duct tape baby observations of my own!

liopia said...

also: citizen #203J9-T rocks socks.

fit celebs said...

Hey, I love your photos..they are really nice...

Duct Tape Babies said...

Authenticity of user "fit celebs" questioned. Further action imminent.